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The secret to a happy marriage? Put your needs first
Monday, January 3, 2011
posted by LiQWD Team @ 4:00 PM
The New York Times recently ran an interesting article talking about the secrets to a happy marriage. Some of us here at LiQWD are married and some of us are not, but we find articles like this perennially fascinating!
Researchers call the secret to happy marriage the “Michaelangelo effect,” which refers to how partners ’sculp’ each other in ways that help them achieve prized goals.
People often “use a relationship to accumulate knowledge and experiences, a process called “self-expansion.” Research shows that the more self-expansion people experience from their partner, the more committed and satisfied they are in the relationship,” says the New York Times.
When you’re involved in interesting, growth-promoting experiences with your partner, you’re less like to be bored, and more likely to feel satisfaction in the partnership.
Says Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski at Monmouth University ,“If your partner is helping you become a better person, you become happier and more satisfied in the relationship.”
Curious how your own partnership fits in? Take the NYTimes’s “Sustainable Marriage” quiz here.
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Only three shopping days left ’til Christmas! We’re not sure where this holiday season has gone–like every year before it, it seems that December has zoomed to a close unreasonably quick.
So, even though we’re not ready, it’s already that time of the year again. The members of the LiQWD team are counting down first until Christmas, then until December 31st, traveling here and there to see our families all over the country (Santa Barbara, Dallas, Charleston, New York–truly, everywhere!)
Stay tuned for big news in January: we’re launching new products, including something so revolutionary that it just might completely transform the anti-frizz category. (Perhaps we’re being too immodest here, but what can we say? We’re proud and can’t wait to show it to you!)
The clock is ticking…are you ready?
Letting your guard down, building up relationships
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
posted by admin @ 1:39 PM
When we were younger, shyness often won out in social settings and we’d clam up, hoping that the less we said, the fewer opportunities to make a fool of ourselves. Wrong strategy! An interesting study from the psychology world discussed in The New York Times says that, just as people who reveal too much can take a conversation from good to awkward in a chatty heartbeat, it seems that people who hold back and undershare can make things equally unpleasant for others.
In another, published last year, psychologists followed 278 men and women as they entered college, giving questionnaires and conducting interviews. Those who scored highest on measures of emotion suppression had the hardest time making friends.
“An individual who responds to the college transition by becoming emotionally guarded in the first few days,” the authors wrote, will most likely miss opportunities for friendships.”
So, let your guard down every once in a while! (It’s certainly all the rage in this Facebook-Twitter-reality TV age.) Equally interesting: according to the study, as we get older, we’re less likely to focus on negative feelings and are more emotionally resilient, naturally and easily adjusting our responses to suit the situation in an appropriate manner.
Thank goodness: more proof that life only gets better as you age!